It's fucking typical really. I'm a student with far too much free time on his hands despite the fact that it's so ridiculously easy to go out get stoned, drunk or shot at by a chav for saying that his belt was a bit fucking loose. Yet here I am tying to pass the time with another incoherent rant rather than doing something worth a shit like reading a book or discovering the cure for necrophilia. So the basis for this next "blog" is to pretty much show how procrastination (or as I should call it FARTING because they're both equally pointless and plus procrastination is too longer a word to write over and over and over and over again) is like the homoerotic sidekick to the student lifestyle in the same way that Robin is to Batman except without the camp tights, unless you're into that sort of thing in which case you CAN play dress up on a monday night in the privacy of your own bedroom.
You can hear thousands of shit stories about what people do when they are bored. The majority of them usual revolve around some bollocks daydream that they had where they're riding on the back of unicorn whilst using a light saber to dispose of unnecessary orcs. In fact, typing the phrase "random procrastination stories" into google produces 174,000 responses all of which want to make my vital organs implode. Nevertheless there are some good ones include someone drawing an empty bag of crisps but the odds of someone coming up with something worthwhile is about as likely as cars running on potatoes. Even as proof, I myself have several weeks of work to catch up on but here I am trying to avoid it in the same way that single attractive women seem to avoid ME! BY ALL MEANS NECESSESARY.
What other sort of crap do people come up with in order to avoid everything that matters in their lives, just like men do in relationships? Doodling seems to be an obvious answer although the term doodling seems to imply that someone’s had a crap related accident in their under-fucking-pants and most of them look like a 3 year old has thrown up some jigsaw pieces along with several ounces of their own puke. I’ve even heard some ridiculous myths that doodle’s can turn into “modern art” which makes sense because they’re both FUCKING WORTHLESS and make just a bigger impact on society like Gordon Brown which is NONE! Seriously the next time I want to see a piece of paper covered in drivel I’ll just ask J.K Rowling to write another fucking novel so she can milk a magical wizard until blood comes out of his udders!
Personally though whilst I should be learning about cognition and brain activity and blah fucking blah I’ve spent the last three days teaching myself how to juggle which as it turns out is quite a useful skill if you want to get laid although not AS useful in a fucking club. Procrastination is just something that exists in our lives that fucking annoys us just like low salt content salt and Russell Crowe films yet students are happy with it. We accept it just like we HAVE to accept Michael Jackson despite his numerous kiddy issues. For legal reasons Michael Jackson has no issues that affect him, his fans, his family or his fucking fairground the self-indulged moon-walking twa …
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